I came to Dorota because I was panicking, feeling very overwhelmed at work, by what I had to do, feeling like I was gonna cry any minute. Now, touch lots of wood, I’m feeling much more solid.
Like lots of people, I don’t do all the things I should do for myself but I do some and I’ve started to embody a different way of being with overwhelm. I’m more aware when I’m heading in that direction.
‘The Language of Emotions’ book Dorota recommended helped a lot. It highlighted that emotions are there to help us and so I’m learning more about what my feelings are.
I was never really sure what they all meant before. So I’m getting a bit more fluent with knowing my state and it makes life easier.
If you’re a sensitive, open person who is finding life a bit tough and would like no-nonsense support that’s helpful to your soul too, I’d really recommend Dorota.’
Sky, Accupuncturist (an interview):
Dorota: How would you articulate what motivated you to work with me?
Sky: I was struggling with my acupuncture coursework, experiencing a lot of overwhelm. My mum, who knew of you, gently suggested I might benefit from your support.
My ability to deal with multiple stresses was very low. I was feeling pretty incapacitated, like I couldn’t handle my course work, part – time job and personal journey as well.
Dorota: What did we do together that made a difference for you?
Sky: Strengthened my awareness of how sensitivity is not a weakness – only when not considered, or honoured, it can seem to be a burden.
Learned to appreciate the finer details, value the qualities and strengths in sensitivity and explore ways of working with it – rather than trying to deny it!
Through the process I came to understand that this level of sensitivity was recognized and shared by others and let go of some feelings of shame.
The approach was very similar to that in Chinese medicine – about bringing you into alignment, into acceptance with your nature. Bringing about easier expression of the true self. The link is in enabling the essential nature to flow naturally and finding whatever way through the challenges that you meet in life that feels kind – finding the path of least resistance.
I think healing is a lot about that generally. Recognising that everything has its place, in a worldwide community of inter-being.
Dorota: So how have things changed for you for the better?
Sky: The picture is definitely of rest… moments of rest. More gentleness to balance the voice of self-doubt and its pushing.
On getting quieter, there was more acceptance of how I was in the moment, rather than fighting it. Therefore more ability to respond to it.
So that the moments gave me… more presence. More nourishment!
Dorota: So more presence meant that you could take care of your needs better? That somehow you could allow it?
Sky: Yeah, respect it more.
Dorota: What was the quest you chose to focus on in our session?
Sky: To believe that I can work in the world in a way that represents my values.
Dorota: And has the quest been successful?
Sky: Definitely. I feel I’m bringing more of my strengths into all I do. Giving myself that permission.
Without allowing myself that I had often felt like a cog in a machine… and after a break from the hospitably work I’d always done, was afraid of feeling that again. I guess my approach to it has become more inside-out. More loving.
It’s been about coming to believe in my strengths more.
And in the months since, I have encountered the feeling that maybe they are sufficient.
I’ve started seeing acupuncture clients and also work part time in a related role where I’m learning skills that I feel will help in self-employement.
Dorota: So when you didn’t have access to seeing the value of your qualities and you were looking into the future, all you could see was being unhappy? And being stuck with it?
Sky: Yeah! I wasn’t able to imagine a place for who I am. And so feeling distress in not being able to bring that out.
Dorota: Has anything become possible for you since our work together that you see as connected to it?
Sky: I feel like it began a deep shift in how I experience the world. When my consciousness opened, somehow my world went with that.
Trusting in my sensitivity as a strength is still very fragile, yet since making a more conscious choice to do so I am finding reflections of its value in my life.
My tutors at college, particularly my main tutor, seemed genuinely in admiration of it. In a way that was completely unexpected.
Sensitivity can be perceived, and experienced as vulnerability. This still has truth for me. I guess now I‘m feeling more respect and compassion for that vulnerability in myself as much as in others.
Dorota: What did your tutor say, I’m curious? What did she appreciate about your sensitivity?
Sky: Practically, in the clinic, my treatment planning and reflections.
The big thing throughout the course had been feeling judged by grades. I found it quite a blunt instrument, and altogether quite challenging. Research based projects were particularly overwhelming.
But with reflective work, it was so easy. Even energising. I seemed to always get a 1st.
There is an area that matures with sensitivity, even if it can come across a bit child-like. Being very aware has value!
Dorota: I want to chime with that tutor, to really celebrate the exquisiteness of what your sensitivity enables you to do and be!
Sky: I’m really touched. It feels useful to articulate for myself, as well as for you, how things have changed for me.
Dorota: So would you recommend me and if yes, who would you recommend me to?
Sky: I already have. So yes, I would! The person is really heart-centred and acutely aware of the energies around and within her… to the point that it hurts quite a lot of the time. She is also open and appreciative of support. Her main challenge seems to be overwhelm, social anxiety and a struggle in being wholly authentic, because of her care.’
Beatrice Garoche, Breathwork Consultant:
I knew Dorota through the breathwork community and have been touched by her way of communicating which I now know is connected with Nonviolent Communication. I wanted to be able to communicate better too and so when my (professional development) supervisor was leaving, Dorota was an obvious choice. I knew I’d be received with empathy and sensitivity.
As it turned out, there was another reason why I was drawn to her sensitivity: because it spoke to mine. Dorota has helped me to value this aspect of myself.
We’ve been working together for well over a year now and I really appreciate knowing that whatever happens in my work life, she’ll be WITH me: holding me, listening to me, reflecting back what she heard from me and asking questions. She helps me care for myself on an even deeper level, especially seeing the value of my sensitivity rather than judging it as a problem or a heavy weight in me.
As a result, I feel seen, loved and supported as a human being. No matter what I go through, a bit of panic or “wrongness”, she hears it with an open heart and a wide angle mind, compassionately and without judgement.
I leave our meetings fully nurtured, recentred and it provides me with a wide, generous space to contain other people (my clients).
Over the year I’ve been working with Dorota, my confidence has grown when it comes to addressing my specific needs and communicating with clients and friends.
It’s now rare that I need to ask Dorota for attention between session (which is part of her package).
This is because I’ve learned to pay attention to myself when stuff comes up.
I can check how I’m addressing the situation. Am I truly giving people choice? I know that in the past, I sometimes thought I was when I wasn’t. I really saw it from Dorota’s feedback to some of my written communication. I learned a lot from that.
For me it affects all areas of my life that no matter what’s going on, Dorota will be there. Non-judging, supportive, helping me to get to peace and communicate in a way that serves both parties.
The other day, when I had a difficult lesson with my dance teacher, Dorota guided me to recognise what was going on for me while I was feeling very vulnerable. I saw that I don’t have to cut off connection in order to cope. I was able to recentre myself. It allowed me to continue enjoying my lessons.
I also clarified my client-practitioner agreement and now feel well held by that too. I got to create something that’s really specific to my way of working and my needs. It brings clarity and guidance to my relationships with clients.
Dorota has a very wide range of nurturing and sensitive words when she talks to you and when she mirrors what she’s getting from you. Often, her turn of phrase has the effect of connecting you more with yourself. It gives me stillness and peace instantly.
If you’re sensitive and want support which is kind, compassionate and will help you find peace from overwhelm, I really recommend Dorota.
Especially if you’re a bit more mature and like to enquire into yourself and communicate with others with authenticity and depth of understanding.’
A.C, Software Developer:
One morning, there was the kale incident.
I was trying to get some things out of the fridge for breakfast and I got very frustrated.
I have this thing where I want things to be packed nicely in the fridge so I can get them out easily, especially in the morning when I’m not quite awake.
My wife had done a big shop the night before and all I could see were those big bags of kale everywhere.
There I was, re-organising the fridge instead of having breakfast and found myself shouting “Why on earth did you buy kale?!!!”
I didn’t want to be putting people down like that.
Enquiring into what was going on for me, with Dorota, I became aware of that frustrated place in me and discovered that it was actually quite vulnerable and scared. There was something tender underneath the place that was “attacking” others.
Now I’m able to notice when that feeling comes up and give that part of me some gentleness and softness.
I’ve gained some time for myself within the reaction.
I’m not directly responding but taking some time to notice what’s going on first.
This helps me to be aware of what’s actually happening when those situations occur. I can then give myself some compassion and some gentleness that helps me to respond to the situation in a much more relaxed way.
I really appreciated the safe space Dorota created, how she listened and offered insight as well. She enabled me to think and feel into what was going on so that I could figure out what was happening.
Go to her if you want to turn around frustrating episodes and get gentle guiding without pushing.’
I asked Dorota to help me when I found myself really angry with somebody in my family. I’m an introvert and I find it difficult to be angry, I can hardly accept the feeling because it doesn’t feel like me.
It kept me awake at night. I wanted to get rid of the anger but Dorota helped me, through her enquiry, to accept my anger and find beautiful things in it.
The anger stood for something I really cared about. Dorota helped me accept and express myself in a way that I could recognise myself in.
What I found useful and surprising in the way Dorota helped me and trained me was that she was really mindful and thoughtful.
She didn’t judge me, she just asked questions to help me understand what all the anger was about. And, she really took her time. She didn’t stress me or didn’t push me. It really felt good.
I now don’t feel angry anymore. It’s a relief and I also understand that anger comes from feeling a limit, a border and that you should accept it. So, I really feel good about you Dorota and about the way that you guided me.’
J.A, Transformational Breath (R) Facilitator
My son was about twelve and I had reached a point of not copying with him on my own anymore. His father had been absent from his life for huge chunks of time, then the period of transition into teens became really intense.
I can’t believe just how much easier my co-parenting relationship is now. But then, God, it was hard.
It just felt, and I’m sure that other people must have felt this, that we were so much at logger heads with my ex that it was not possible to find the love anymore. Our relationship felt completely irreparable.
We were so far down the line of blaming, judging and accusing. The pair of us were really angry and stuck in it. We could only see the worst parts of one another and it was like a dog with a bone, neither would let go.
Fortunately for me, Dorota found the tiniest thread of compassion in me which started to bring in a chink of light and a bit of hope and softness in me.
What especially helped me was acknowledging my anger and pain and making all of my feelings and the way I was trying to express them okay. That was really important for me.
When Dorota helped me to drop under the rawness of these emotions, to the part that was hurting, I really softened. I found enough compassion to wonder about how my ex-partner was feeling too.
I was able to step into his shoes and have compassion for his experience. I saw that we were BOTH doing the best with what we knew…
It’s really difficult when you have such a massive history with someone and when you’re doing it on your own to come from a loving place. More than that, it felt impossible.
Dorota told me: “You don’t have to reply now. You can step back from it, feel it, move through it first.”
It felt amazing to have my hand held through that process of acknowledging what I was really feeling, letting go of that, softening and seeing my ex’s response soften over time too.
He stopped projecting everything at me, all his anger and upsets.
Before, he’d been throwing everything he could at me, dredging up the most painful stuff from our history, from even ten years before.
Dorota held me back from replying in the same fiery way. Because I wasn’t engaging in THAT way anymore, he didn’t have anything to fight with.
He looked at his own side of things instead and has really shifted.
He’s softer. He’s apologised to our son for the times when he got really angry with him. I see him owning his side of things and working to rebuild trust with our son. It seems that we’re speaking the same language now and he’s really taken on the responsibility for our boy.
My ex-partner seems quite a different person after I started relating to him from a deeper place in me. In fact, he’s been here helping our son a lot this week and I had to say to him: “Hey, I need you to go, I really need to get this work call done.’
It’s a huge relief because boys really need their dad.’
Ulrike, Student of Life:
I was having quite an intense time when I heard about the concept of higher sensitivity. Many things came up for me, pain but also understanding for myself and also for my son.
I was surprised how minor triggers drove me insane, things I do have coping skills for – somewhere.
I realised that most of the day I am far from centered and balanced. After working with you, I found more understanding for the moments I lost it and still loose it. But it is rare as I allow myself to find balance during my day and this is still new and exciting for me as this was totally unknown to me from my family of origin.
If it happens that I go into a rage it has a different quality now, I feel less despair. I know it is happening now, it will go over and it is about me and not about the person who triggered it.
The relationships in my family continue to improve and I experience much more joy!! And I am moving on, getting in touch with parts of myself that need some healing, as if I had the peace and safety now to feel what is there.
Your newsletters are a valuable reminder for me to have respect for my “special needs” and to be proud of my ‘special abilities’, the suggestions are helpful for me and it just feels good to read it as I can relate on a deep level to your words. I feel safe to know there is support when needed!’