E.P’s story

“I felt in a crisis because I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to stay in the relationship I was in or not.

I found myself in the not knowing and having trouble being there. I was thinking that things can’t go on like this and it drove me crazy.

I would say “yes” one moment and then “no” in another.

I was stuck and just couldn’t get out of that place somehow and I realised that I might need help.

It was my partner who said that Dorota may be the person to help because she works with sensitive people and is into NVC as well. I decided to give it a try.

It was good to be offered a free call at first as it allowed me to sense whether help was even possible and to feel connection with Dorota.

I felt really understood. I felt seen. That was already very helpful and also that she felt it was a problem she could help with.

It was such a relief to know that I had a solvable problem, that support was possible and that I wasn’t going to be stuck in it forever.

I felt hopeful that I would find some clarity and relieved that I was not on my own with it anymore, that I would find my way out of the crisis.

Looking back, I’m not sure how to describe the magic that happened.

Somehow, it became possible for me to be in the not knowing and be okay.

It came from something Dorota said that not knowing is also a place, that it’s okay to be there for a while. It doesn’t mean something is bad.

She encouraged me to accept that I was in the place of not knowing and even though it felt scary – because I didn’t know if I would get out of it and find a clear answer that would stay with me – somehow she gave me reassurance that it would become possible to reach this other place, where I could find clarity.

It was about trusting and being okay with where I am.

It helped tremendously that Dorota seemed to know that place.

I was kind of lost on the way and doubting everything and I guess I needed someone to help me not to panic anymore and to trust that I would find my way.

And it’s funny because nothing as such happened. I just stayed in the not knowing and clarity came!

I didn’t expect it.

When I wasn’t even looking for it anymore, it came. It just came and I started to get in touch with the feeling of how it is to just know.

From that place, it became easier to trust my own decisions, to be in touch with my inner knowing. To trust that inner clarity is there for me and that I can reach it.

For example, last August I had to decide whether to go to the NVC festival in UK.

Before, I would have been weighing all the pros and cons and I would keep thinking about it and feel torn between yes and no.

This time, I didn’t give so much attention to the pros and cons. I just waited until I had a sense of what was really working for me. I allowed myself time to not know, to not have clarity for a while and then it became clear at certain point that apparently, I’m not going to go.

I realised that it wouldn’t work for me. It was very obvious: “so don’t go!”

I couldn’t believe that it was possible to simply wait until things were clear.

I had been trying too hard to know, to solve it in my mind and it didn’t work at all. It was quite scary.

I think now I will be able to make decisions that really work for me and I won’t be in this “yes – no, yes – no” struggle again so easily.

And if I find myself there, I’ll know: “Okay, I’ve been here before. I can get out of this! It’s perfectly possible, I’ve done it before.”

I would really recommend Dorota to people who need support and want to find clarity about something. Especially with any decision making processes and relational stuff.

Because she also helped me when I was triggered by my ex-boyfriend.

I was grateful that I could respond in a way that honored both of us.
I could see him for who he is again, I got in touch with reality again, and I could let go of my glasses trough which I saw him as someone having a problem and being annoying.

I couldn’t have done this without Dorota’s support.

I learned that I don’t need to express what is going on in me immediately when I feel triggered. (Even when I want authenticity).
It is enough to notice something is going on inside of me, and then choose how I want to react.  I can still attune, even when triggered.

I also liked it that Dorota gives both empathy and practical advice.

For example, what I can try for better sleep.  I am using a hot water bottle now and the weight of my buckwheat pillow, and practicing the 4-7-8 breathing.
I am not used to getting empathy like I got it from Dorota.  And she also gave me hope to find more of that precious empathy in my daily life. ( I can reach out for it more.  It is there for me, waiting for me to call… 🙂

I would recommend Dorota to everyone who feels a bit lost on the way and wants guidance to come back on track.

E.P, Performer, Belgium