Hugely helpful books!


For some of us, myself included, books are especially doable channels for learning, companionship and meaning.

Below, are the most faithful guides I’ve found so far for better connection with yourself and people in your life.

Click on the cover and it’ll take you to the Amazon page where you can look up the contents as well.


Where you can learn about the dance of returning to connection:


An overview of effective, compassionate communication by the founder who had a gift for sharing solutions to tricky problems through gritty, true stories.

An incredibly useful, hope-restoring read.



hot to disagree without being disagreeable

This book describes many ways in which to de-escalate conversation when it’s gone more intense than is helpful and why it is really worthwhile to do so.

For those familiar with NVC, this is another style of peacemaking that will expand your ability to take conversations into a more constructive direction.


verbal aikido avatar

This book is a third “system” of turning around difficult moments inspired by the martial art called Aikido.

It’ll give you even more actual phrases to use when turning a conversation around and insights into attending to your inner state so that you can say what’s needed to bring conversation to a more positive place.



Where you can find validation and advice for the experience of having a sensitive system:


The Highly Sensitive PersonThe main overview of the trait of naturally heightened sensitivity by the researcher who discovered it and champions people with it.

A must-read if you think you or a loved one has “thin skin”.




too loud iconThis book was written for those with a disorder of sensory processing and not for the natural trait of higher sensitivity.

However, there are many overlaps in how the two can manifest.

I’ve used a number of its recommendations, which are simple and yet effective in calming overstimulated senses, e.g. body brushing or sleeping under a weighted blanket.


power of sensitivity bookThis is encouragement via sensitive success stories of real people and features examples of a diverse range of things that people found helpful in reducing overstimulation and increasing meaningful satisfaction in life.




Where you can learn to take better care of your state (key to better relationships!):

on form book coverThis book teaches the skills of managing your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual energy.

This is part of the key education that you should have received at school but very likely didn’t. This guidance is especially vital for the more sensitive who are strongly affected by energy fluctuations.



This book will deepen your understanding  language of emotions iconand acceptance of emotions, especially the more uncomfortable ones which each has a vital, supportive role to play in life.

Great resource if you struggle with lots of emotions or want to befriend those that you don’t know how not to dread.

Deep, detailed info and practices for each emotion.


presence iconThis book will be especially helpful for those who find that they are “too much in”, not “there” or “visible” enough in encounters and would like to be empowered without being pushy or inauthentic.

Similarly, great for those who express almost too easily or strongly and find that this does not lead to connection. Deep insights and fab practical tips.


drive yourself sane iconThis book will be of great help to those who get stuck in arguing without happy outcomes, defending positions without gaining satisfaction and for those who are losing battles with oppressing thoughts in their heads.

This is perspective liberating wisdom brought to us through a school of thought called General Semantics.



time to think avatarThis book provides another vital missing life skill: that of supporting a person (yourself or a loved one) to find their own, best quality solutions in life.

It teaches how to be present to a human being in such a way that they think and experience their best.

Students of NVC and compassionate living: there’s incredible depth and clarity of guidance here about true empathic presence with someone.


Books to read for pleasure where you can encounter celebration of a sensitive way of being:


elegance of the hedgehog avatarThis was a gift from a dear friend and a wondrous surprise.

People have started giving me hedgehog related gifts but this is spookily resonant with my seeing the hedgehog as a beautiful symbol of sensitivity.

I’ve fallen in love with the seemingly insignificant character Renee, the concierge of a grand Parisian apartment building. This book conveys truths about life and sensitivity I’ve sensed but didn’t think were possible to articulate.


te of piglet avatarThis dialogue between the author and the characters from the beloved children’s book “Winnie the Pooh” has been warming the cockles of my heart for over twenty years.

It reveals the strengths and dignity of Piglet, the animal who “agonises” yet who is also “the only one of them to change, to grow, to become more than what he was in the first place”.

As a bonus, you’ll find here a beautiful introduction into the principles of Taoism. Yum!


Screen Shot 2015-11-05 at 12.24.15This is an amazing story! Found in an ex-library sale, I got it because it was endorsed by Ursula K. Le Guin who is my literary and introvert hero. It is an amazing story!

You know how most alien-visits-earth stories are presenting the alien as an enemy?

This is a scenario where aliens are guided into what being human is about. The main contact is not with soldiers or big wigs but with a seemingly messed up but really deeply loving and wise individual. Yes, a sensitive. How did you guess?