A.C’s story

“I contacted Dorota, who supported me before, because I noticed that I started snapping at people, at home and at work, and I could see it was becoming destructive to my relationships.

One morning, there was the kale incident.

I was trying to get some things out of the fridge for breakfast and I got very frustrated.

I have this thing where I want things to be packed nicely in the fridge so I can get them out easily, especially in the morning when I’m not quite awake.

My wife had done a big shop the night before and all I could see were those big bags of kale everywhere.

There I was, re-organising the fridge instead of having breakfast and found myself shouting “Why on earth did you buy kale?!!!”

I didn’t want to be putting people down like that.

Enquiring into what was going on for me, with Dorota, I became aware of that frustrated place in me and discovered that it was actually quite vulnerable and scared. There was something tender underneath the place that was “attacking” others.

Now I’m able to notice when that feeling comes up and give that part of me some gentleness and softness.

I’ve gained some time for myself within the reaction.

I’m not directly responding but taking some time to notice what’s going on first.

This helps me to be aware of what’s actually happening when those situations occur. I can then give myself some compassion and some gentleness that helps me to respond to the situation in a much more relaxed way.

I really appreciated the safe space Dorota created, how she listened and offered insight as well.

She enabled me to think and feel into what was going on so that I could figure out what was happening.

Go to her if you want to turn around frustrating episodes and get gentle guiding without pushing.”

A.C, Software Developer, UK